I joined the gym.
I am so excited. I am rescheduling all of my time to make time for the gym.  I looked around and found one close to my house.  It’s not bad. I am happy.  I”m going to start with walking. Now that I don’t have such a hard time breathing I’m going to walk a half mile and work my way up.  From experience, I know that if I don’t take it slow, I’m going to hurt myself and make excuses not go.
Hopefully, by May, I’ll buy a racket ball and do a set in the mornings. This is my goal. Who knows, I might find a racquetball partner to play with on the court.
Too bad that the friends I have now are so cynical that I couldn’t see them exercising for their lives.  I am not going to tell them anything because I don’t want to hear their negative thoughts or be ignored. This is why I need new friends.
Too bad too. I would love to play racket ball with them. It is a good challenge.
I’m going for a walk now.  Check out the local view of the freeway as I walk by it.  Wish me luck.

My Thirties

When I hit my thirties, bang, things changed. I dated an 18-year-old. For a year. I think it was dating. I’m not sure. No. I’m not sure. We hung out every day every day for over a year.
My mother thought I lost my mind. “What are you doing dating a kid like that. You’ve already walked around the block twice.” My goodness, my mother calling me a whore. I didn’t pay much heed. I continued seeing the guy. What happened to him? I’ll never know.
I don’t remember how we met. I know I made an impression on him. He thought I was way too gay to be true. I thought he was too childish for my needs.  Anyway, we never did anything sexually. He held my hand once, I held him once, and we were both afraid of committing to each other.  We knew each other’s secrets. We held nothing back. He knew about the men I was with; I knew who he was with. It was love/hate relationship. I used to hate loving him.  I was never too sure of what to do about him.  We both had school, and we both had our responsibilities. Our entire relationship took place at night at a restaurant and never went anywhere from there.  I knew the menu by heart. I knew the manager had a Prince Charles. I knew which cook, was sleeping with which waitress. I felt like I was on a soap opera.
On another occasion. I had an affair with a much younger man.  He literally waited until he turned 18 to talk to me.  We spent a lot of time together, eating out late and such. We would go to movies, games, festivals, parties, and anything you can think of when a couple goes out.  I had so much fun with him. I miss him. He’s out traveling the world as a grown man should.  First we started with a bit of hand-holding and slowly progressed to one night of passion.  Things were different after that one night. I’m not sure what happened. Maybe he was too young, maybe I was too immature. I don’t know. I’ll never know the truth. I know his girlfriend was happier after that night.
I tell you one thing. I’m 42 and I am currently sleeping with an 18 year old. I carded him before we did anything.  Let me tell you. He’s a fast learner and OMG, he is sooooo good. I don’t know what I’m going to do with him.  All we do is know each other in the biblical sense. I love it.
So tell me, what about you?


My Teens

When I was a teen, I was attracted to older men. By older, I mean two to three years. High School seniors, College guys, military guys. The whole prospect of someone older than 25 was unthinkable. My first love was when I was in High School. He was a senior. My first crush was the 23-year-old Physical Education teacher. Brown eyes, brown hair, beautiful physic. I thought he was the mature kind of guy. The senior was just an idiot chasing my neighbor and sleeping with my girlfriend (sounds like soap.)

When you’re a teen, the world lays at your feet.  You are king of the planet. You are invincible.  So why do we fail so miserable in dating? We give our hearts out like there is no tomorrow. We give with all our passion and don’t expect to be hurt. If we do, then we either die miserably or move on to the next one, only jaded.

The adage of “If I knew then what I know know,” comes to mind.  If I were in high school with what I know now, I’d probably still date the senior.  I might have been a little more aggressive (assertive isn’t the word I’m going to use, it’s more than confident), I would have slept with him in December and not until a week after his graduation, the night before he went into the Army. Not that he was any good.
I’m sure we would have improved by then.
Oh. You’re probably wondering how he slept with my girlfriend.  I didn’t know how to hide I was gay. Not that it mattered. I kind of had a hand holding girlfriend. The three of us went downtown to watch Space Balls. He drove his dad’s car, dropped me off first and well, you know. I’m so heartbroken. Just kidding.
The only reason I ended up with the senior was that we both had American History on 1st period.  He got into a fight with his locker partner and moved in with me.  We hung out a lot. Every day we arrived half an hour early and met with my neighbors from the other side of my house and had breakfast.  He would walk me to class, and sometimes to my house.
As far as the PE teacher. I tried to sleep with him. I succeeded in my dreams. What did I know about seducing an older man? Nothing. I did get to peek at him in the showers a few times.  Of course, I didn’t know what I was comparing him too. Other teenage boys???


I'm Over 40

I’m over 40
When I turned 40, I knew that I was headed for a slow death. No more dating younger guys. No more going out with them for sex, that was it for me. I became focally dead to the world. So what do I do know? I am currently overweight, poor, an old man looking for love. Pathetic? No. I don’t think so. It comes with the territory.
I feel that I need to make some better decisions about who I date and who my friends are.  It’s not easy being 40. Heck, it was easy 16, 20, or 30. However, 40 is a whole different world. I’m afraid of how it’s going to when I’m 50. I think that’d be a whole another story in a decade or so. For now, let’s focus on my misadventures of dating at 40.
I think I had a better time dating when I was in my teens, and a more relaxed time in my twenties. I became a little harder on my thirties, and now I’m over forty. Let’s see where this yellow brick road takes me.
As a reader, I hope you share your experiences with me and others that are reading this blog.  Do I want to know what happened to you? What are you going through?  If you’re in your twenties, tell me about those older guys your dating. If your thirty, is dating both older and younger? And if you’re around my age, How young is young, and how old is old?
Take my head. Eat healthily, work hard, save and above all pretend you’re younger than what you are.

2012 Mid Year's Resolution

June of 2012 I made myself a resolution. As you can see above I even drew it out. I know I will succeed with the plan. I am doing it in steps. However, I am not sure what steps to do first, so I’ll play it by ear.

Above left to right.

  • Meet the man of my dreams. I wish it was Gavin Dunn. I love the way he eats a York Peppermint. (Still looking)
  • A new car.
  • Adapted Consulting.
  • Networking.
  • Exercising.
  • Losing weight.
  • Money in my pocket.
  • Money in the bank.
  • Another professional pic of me.
  • A loving partner.
  • Change my wardrobe.
  • An office.
  • Give up bread and dairy.
  • New set of friends.
  • Lose the girth.
  • Quite Smoking. (I succeeded by November 2012)
  • Family. I don’t mean get pregnant and have a litter. i mean be close to the one I have.
  • Sell my books, and have a hit on my website and blogs from around the world.
  • Savings for my own house.
  • Writer more.
  • Books, and more books on sell.
  • One of my books turned into a movie.

That’s it, nothing more.  I am going to do it. With little of my friends. If I tell them, they’ll be very negative about it. I will hear every excuse under the sun about how I am not going to succeed.  I know that they won’t read this. So I’m not worried. They’re too focused on themselves.  I talk and I literally see their eyes roll up to the sky and give a blank look, thinking of something about themselves.  Then they’ll stop me, liven up, be very active and talk about themselves.

Welcome to 40GD

Welcome to 40GD (40, Gay and Dating) by Andres Fragoso, Jr.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Andres Fragoso, Jr. and I am over 42, gay and trying to find that long lasting love in my life.  This blog will tell you about my adventures and miss adventures trying to find love at this age. I am a writer by passion, a poem by design, a family member by love and a man by nature. I have my faults. However, I do have my virtues. I hope that you can see that they are not always balanced, but they are sometimes more balanced under the naked eye.
I live in Las Vegas, been here since I was 17. Before that I was in Oregon for a year. Spent most of my childhood in Culver City, Venice, Santa Monica, Visalia, Lemon Cove and a few other unremembered cities in California. I spent a few years as an adult in Los Angeles, CA, did my stint in the Army in Ft. Lewis and lived in Mexico too.  I have a bit of experience living in different cities and countries and love gets more difficult as I get older.
Being over 40 is a blessing and a cruse. It defies the laws of aging and love.  It’s also an age where anything is possible and everything is impossible. Where new experiences are welcomed. Old habits are forgiven. Memories are forever gone. Love is a gift, don’t let give it away needlessly, you will never get it back.
Without further ado I present you with my 40GD blog. Laugh at my experiences. Just don’t laugh at me.  Re-live some of my old memories and maybe give me your opinion on something that made you remember something in life.
I don’t know about you. But I don’t remember turning thirty. Of course that was soooo long ago. Thirty was a great age for me. I started dating younger men. I mean 20 to 26. I don’t know why. I dated older men all the time and then all of a sudden. Bang. 20 year old’s looking for a mature man.
Then I turned forty. Things definitely changed. I threw a big party. Black and White. I had a live singer, he was quite good. Food was great, I had to have it catered, I didn’t want my mom in the kitchen, her birthday was a few days later.
The company was the best part of it all. Friends of my brother’s and sister came. I saw most of them grow up. Family form LA came over to wish me a happy birthday. Friends from my writing class came as well.
Now that was fun, they made the Mystery Game come to life. Thank you all again.

Now if only I could get one of the guys in the picture.